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breath which escaped his hairy face looking as though he was
breathing out puffs of smoke.
A crystal being is indeed a rare and wonderful sight. They are
usually to be found floating around white dwarfs, not small, pale
coloured midgets, but stars near the end of their life. Having said
this, they do live around most other stars, such as the laxative suns of
Errrnnngh-Ahhh, aptly named for obvious reasons. Knowledge of
how and why they exist are privileged to only a select few. Also,
one extra comment, a crystal being cannot be described as either
female or male; but for the sake of translation the she descriptive is
the more appropriate of the two.
Scank's impressive outburst had only been possible thanks to his
childhood fascination with crystal beings. Their images are to be
found throughout in his own race's Book of Study. The Book of Study
displays fundamental pictures upon its many sacred pages.
'I am telling you, I have been sent by the Almighty to deliver us all
from evil! To give you this day your daily bread ... ' The small ball of
jagged crystal invisibly raised herself from the smooth metal ground
which she had settled on like a golf ball upon a tee. 'Follow me and
we will see the day the bosseye no longer enslave other worlds.
Together we can stand ...'
'On the likes of you!' screamed a bosseye soldier, barging
aggressively through the unprepared audience. Judging by the
soldier's draping black uniform - upon which a silver star rested
above her left bosoms - she was most definitely in charge of the
squad of equally dressed (except in yellow) soldiers who were also
closing in on the crystal being's position.
43
'Woof ... that must be the Galactic Messiah!' barked Scank, still
huddled underneath Dong. 'We must help ... grrr ... because you
know what the bosseye will do to her!'
Dong was deeply worried, the unravelling situation was beginning
to look dangerous. They had arrived too late. If only they had
found the messiah an hour or two sooner.
Two large soldiers, who had been edging nearer and nearer,
suddenly made matters worse by grabbing the crystal being and
holding her whilst the rest of the squad aimed large weapons
towards her back and front - if indeed the messiah had one - it was
hard to tell. The battle weary soldiers all knew that if their target
moved just a little bit she was to be killed instantly without so much
as a second thought.
'So what are we going to do?' asked Dong, looking down upon
Scank's long, frozen muzzle. 'We cannot afford to reveal ourselves,
we will be captured as well and more than likely we'll all be killed!'
Rushing forcefully through the hushed crowd, Chucker and the still
invisible Robottom finally came to join their companions discussion.
'It's too crowded to be able to run,' noted Chucker, all three of his
antennae twitching rapidly as if they were knitting needles working
enthusiastically on a solution to their current predicament.
'Oh my god!' shouted one of the preachers, blaspheming, as he
caught the ruff end of a dreadful odour which had started to
spread around the gathering.
'Disgusting!' others quickly joined in, one after the other, gasping
for fresh air.
All eyes seemed to be quickly fixed upon three aliens huddled
together in what appeared to be a secretive discussion. Then, as if
things hadn't been bad enough, out of nowhere pounced the
metal creature who had briefly been forgotten, onto a more than
alarmed Robottom, immediately de-cloaking him for everyone to
see.
'It's a robottom!' screeched one of the soldiers in shock.
'Kill him before he fills our lungs with his lethal farting. Death, by
order of The Star Empress ... Charge!'
44
With this unwanted aggression now aimed towards the four
mysterious strangers, the messiah was carelessly thrown to the
ground. The squad of bosseye soldiers were focused upon the
robottom and his shit scared companions.
The general public started to panic and run. Some, who had the
natural capability, ran up columns, some into them, disappearing
like ghosts. It was indeed chaos for all concerned. Alien madness
was everywhere!
'Quick,' screeched Chucker, 'The messiah is going to be trampled [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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