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seen the Yamabooshi once more, received no attention from me.
"Friend of a foreign land!" -- he cried, "I pray that you may not repent of your unbelief and rashness. May
the 'Holy One' [Kwan-On, the Goddess of Mercy] protect you from the Dzins! For, since you refuse to
submit to the process of purification at the hands of the holy Yamabooshi, he is powerless to defend you from
the evil influences evoked by your unbelief and defiance of truth. But let me, at this parting hour, I beseach
V -- RETURN OF DOUBTS 39
Nightmare Tales
you, let me, an older man who wishes you well, warn you once more and persuade you of things you are still
ignorant of. May I speak?"
"Go on and have your say," was the ungracious assent. "But let me warn you, in my turn, that nothing you
can say can make of me a believer in your disgraceful superstitions." This was added with a cruel feeling of
pleasure in bestowing one more needless insult.
But the excellent man disregarded this new sneer as he had all others. Never shall I forget the solemn
earnestness of his parting words, the pitying, remorseful look on his face when he found that it was, indeed,
all to no purpose, that by his kindly meant interference he had only led me to my destruction.
"Lend me your ear, good sir, for the last time," he began, "learn that unless the holy and venerable man; who,
to relieve your distress, opened your 'soul vision,' is permitted to complete his work, your future life will,
indeed, be little worth living. He has to safeguard you against involuntary repetitions of visions of the same
character. Unless you consent to it of your own free will, however, you will have to be left in the power of
Forces which will harass and persecute you to the verge of insanity. Know that the development of 'Long
Vision' [clairvoyance] -- which is accomplished at will only by those for whom the Mother of Mercy, the
great Kwan-On, has no secrets -- must, in the case of the beginner, be pursued with help of the air Dzins
(elemental spirits) whose nature is soulless, and hence wicked. Know also that, while the Arihat, 'the
destroyer of the enemy,' who has subjected and made of these creatures his servants, has nothing to fear; he
who has no power over them becomes their slave. Nay, laugh not in your great pride and ignorance, but listen
further. During the time of the vision and while the inner perceptions are directed toward the events they
seek, the Daij-Dzin has the seer -- when, like yourself, he is an inexperienced tyro -- entirely in its power;
and for the time being that seer is no longer himself. He partakes of the nature of his 'guide.' The Dali-Dzin,
which directs his inner sight, keeps his soul in durance vile, making of him, while the state lasts, a creature
like itself. Bereft of his divine light, man is but a soulless being; hence during the time of such connection, he
will feel no human emotions, neither pity nor fear, love nor mercy."
"Hold!" I involuntarily exclaimed, as the words vividly brought back to my recollections the indifference
with which I had witnessed my sister's despair and sudden loss of reason in my "hallucination," "Hold! . . .
But no; it is still worse madness in me to heed or find any sense in your ridiculous tale! But if you knew it to
be so dangerous why have advised the experiment at all?" -- I added mockingly.
"It had to last but a few seconds, and no evil could have resulted from it, had you kept your promise to submit
to purification," was the sad and humble reply. "I wished you well, my friend, and my heart was nigh
breaking to see you suffering day by day. The experiment is harmless enough when directed by one who
knows, and becomes dangerous only when the final precaution is neglected. It is the 'Master of Visions,' he
who has opened an entrance into your soul, who has to close it by using the Seal of Purification against any
further and deliberate ingress of. . . ."
"The 'Master of Visions' forsooth!" I cried, brutally interrupting him, "say rather the Master of Imposture!"
The look of sorrow on his kind old face was so intense and painful to behold that I perceived I had gone too
far; but it was too late.
"Farewell, then!" said the old Bonze, rising; and after performing the usual ceremonials of politeness,
Tamoora left the house in dignified silence.
V -- RETURN OF DOUBTS 40
Nightmare Tales
VI -- I DEPART -- BUT NOT ALONE
Several days later I sailed, but during my stay I saw my venerable friend, the Bonze, no more. Evidently on
that last, and to me for ever memorable evening, he had been seriously offended with my more than
irreverent, my downright insulting remark about one whom he so justly respected. I felt sorry for him, but the
wheel of passion and pride was too incessantly at work to permit me to feel a single moment of remorse.
What was it that made me so relish the pleasure of wrath, that when, for one instant, I happened to lose sight
of my supposed grievance toward the Yamabooshi, I forthwith lashed myself back into a kind of artificial
fury against him. He had only accomplished what he had been expected to do, and what he had tacitly [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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