[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
own personal issues, she d let him down. She knew that. She hadn t even bothered to say goodbye to
him because if she d waited around long enough to do so, she wouldn t have been able to leave his
father even for the night.
She was weak, and she knew it.
Sierra?
She turned on her heel, her hand going over her racing heart. Austin, she gasped.
He stood in the foyer by the door to the garage, his keys in his hand, his eyes full of pain. After
staring at her for what seemed like an eternity, he cleared his throat. Hey, Legs, he said, his voice
falsely calm, I was just coming home to grab a bag and head to your place.
She licked her lips. My place?
Austin set his keys on the shelf then took two powerful steps toward her. His hand tangled in her
hair, pulling her head back so she met his eyes.
I m so fucking sorry, Sierra. I shouldn t have reacted like that. I shouldn t have taken out my
frustrations on you.
No, you shouldn t have. He might look sexy with that beard of his and the intensity in his eyes,
but she couldn t walk away from what had happened. Not fully. It wouldn t do either of them any
good.
I can t believe I got jealous of you and Leif. Because that s what it was. It was petty jealousy
because my son would rather go to you.
She shook her head. You didn t see his face when I walked in, Austin. He wanted you there. He
doesn t pick me over you. He just doesn t know how to tell you he wants you. Just like you don t
know how to do the same to him.
He looked like he d been struck at her words, but he nodded. I& I don t know what to do, but I
do know that I want you by my side when I do it.
Her heart lurched.
You re mine. You get that? I was an asshole and scared about Leif, and I fucked us up. You had
every right to leave me in the shop alone with my own troubles yesterday, but sleeping without you
last night? Baby, that was horrible. I don t want to do that again. You get me?
I get you, she whispered. But that s not the end of it. Do you get me?
Austin sighed, moving close to rest his lips on her forehead. I know. I know, baby.
Something inside her relaxed, and she leaned into his touch. They might not have fixed
everything, nor had they said everything they needed to say, but she was in his arms, and that was a
step forward.
Where s Leif? she asked after they stood there a few minutes in silence.
At Meghan s. He wanted to stay with his cousins& and I wanted to be with you. To talk with
you. To just be.
She pulled back slightly so she could look into his eyes. I m glad you re here. I& I just need
you.
She couldn t say her true feelings out loud, not right then. Not when she might have trusted him
with her body, but her heart was fearful of what was going on inside his head.
He collared her throat, and she sucked in a breath, her body shaking in anticipation. I want you
in my bed, but tonight isn t about sex. It s about you and me talking and just being ourselves.
She nodded, even though the disappointment of not having him inside her crashed into her. She
wanted to hear his voice, feel his beard on her neck as he hugged her hard. He held her then, picking
her up and cradling her to his chest. They laid in bed fully dressed, their legs entwined as they spoke
of their days, starting with the small things and just listening to one another.
The major decisions would come and the challenges of being with a man who had a son he d
never met before would find their paths. Right then, though, her worries were voiced, and she could
breathe again. It wouldn t be easy, but she had Austin s voice, his touch, and his body.
She just needed his heart.
Chapter Twenty-three
Shea paced Griffin s living room, running her hands through her hair as she did so. They were
leaving Denver in three days to head back home, and yet she didn t feel like she was ready. In fact,
she felt like everything had taken a turn for the worse in her heart, rather than the actual reason they
had come north in the first place.
Shep s uncle was doing okay, but not great and nowhere near out of the woods yet, but alive and
breathing. That counted for something when cancer was involved. She d met Shep s family and
friends and had been welcomed with open arms.
If anything, that made what was going on within her even worse.
She had a clear example now of what a family was supposed to be rather than the farce she d
lived with. Her mother had attacked and emotionally abused her for her entire life while her father
had cheated on his family and had ignored Shea since she was a baby.
Baby.
Damn it. She couldn t think about that. She couldn t think about what was going on within her
while there were more important things. She was being stupid and silly, and yet she couldn t stop it.
Shep was pulling away day by day because she wasn t telling him what was going on inside her head
and body, yet she couldn t find the courage to actually tell him.
Maybe once they got back to New Orleans, everything would be okay and she d be back to
normal. That had to be the answer because, right then, she couldn t think about what was going on.
She couldn t make decisions, and that was so unlike her. She d spent her life doing what was
expected her and following the path that others laid for her before she ventured out on her own. First
with her job, then with leaving her ex the same man her mother had chosen for her. Then Shea
wanted a tattoo and found Shep.
Her happily ever after was supposed to be all roses and rainbows now.
Not pain, heartache, and nervousness.
Shea?
She turned on her heel quickly, almost falling in her haste. Shep put out a hand and held her
steady, that ever-present worry in his gaze.
You startled me. And she couldn t bear to look at him and keep this secret any longer.
I can see that. Tell me what s wrong, Shea. You re killing me here. What did I do wrong? How
can I fix it? I love you so fucking much, and you re pulling away from me. Please. Please tell me
what s wrong.
Oh God, she was doing this all wrong. She was ruining something perfect because she was
scared. Scared that she d ruin it all.
I& I&
He cupped her face, kissing her softly. She leaned into him, letting his taste settle on her tongue.
He anchored her. He was her first love, her only love, and she needed to be honest and open. She
shouldn t be afraid of him; she wasn t.
No, she was afraid of herself.
Tell me, Shea.
We re having a baby, she blurted out, her body shaking. The relief that should have come from
telling him what she d kept secret for far too long never came. Instead, she wanted to throw up, and
she didn t think that came from morning sickness.
Shep opened his mouth two or three times like a fish out of water then grinned. A baby? He
picked her up, twirling her around the room. She clung to his shoulders, wanting to run away rather
than search inside herself.
We re having a baby! Oh god, Shea. I m so fucking happy about this. All this time you were
worried we were having a baby? That s it? His eyes widened. Is something wrong? Do we need to
go to the doctor? Let me get my keys. He set her down like she was fine china then patted his chest
and pockets looking for his keys. Shouldn t you be sitting down? Do you want water? Or how about
crackers? How are you feeling?
The way he acted should have been cute. Instead, she could hear only her mother in her head. Her
mother who had told her that she d never amount to anything. Who had belittled her for her entire life,
making her want to run away or find another more permanent end to the way things had been.
Shep had saved her life right then, and she couldn t think of how to stop the pattern. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
zanotowane.pl doc.pisz.pl pdf.pisz.pl aikidobyd.xlx.pl
own personal issues, she d let him down. She knew that. She hadn t even bothered to say goodbye to
him because if she d waited around long enough to do so, she wouldn t have been able to leave his
father even for the night.
She was weak, and she knew it.
Sierra?
She turned on her heel, her hand going over her racing heart. Austin, she gasped.
He stood in the foyer by the door to the garage, his keys in his hand, his eyes full of pain. After
staring at her for what seemed like an eternity, he cleared his throat. Hey, Legs, he said, his voice
falsely calm, I was just coming home to grab a bag and head to your place.
She licked her lips. My place?
Austin set his keys on the shelf then took two powerful steps toward her. His hand tangled in her
hair, pulling her head back so she met his eyes.
I m so fucking sorry, Sierra. I shouldn t have reacted like that. I shouldn t have taken out my
frustrations on you.
No, you shouldn t have. He might look sexy with that beard of his and the intensity in his eyes,
but she couldn t walk away from what had happened. Not fully. It wouldn t do either of them any
good.
I can t believe I got jealous of you and Leif. Because that s what it was. It was petty jealousy
because my son would rather go to you.
She shook her head. You didn t see his face when I walked in, Austin. He wanted you there. He
doesn t pick me over you. He just doesn t know how to tell you he wants you. Just like you don t
know how to do the same to him.
He looked like he d been struck at her words, but he nodded. I& I don t know what to do, but I
do know that I want you by my side when I do it.
Her heart lurched.
You re mine. You get that? I was an asshole and scared about Leif, and I fucked us up. You had
every right to leave me in the shop alone with my own troubles yesterday, but sleeping without you
last night? Baby, that was horrible. I don t want to do that again. You get me?
I get you, she whispered. But that s not the end of it. Do you get me?
Austin sighed, moving close to rest his lips on her forehead. I know. I know, baby.
Something inside her relaxed, and she leaned into his touch. They might not have fixed
everything, nor had they said everything they needed to say, but she was in his arms, and that was a
step forward.
Where s Leif? she asked after they stood there a few minutes in silence.
At Meghan s. He wanted to stay with his cousins& and I wanted to be with you. To talk with
you. To just be.
She pulled back slightly so she could look into his eyes. I m glad you re here. I& I just need
you.
She couldn t say her true feelings out loud, not right then. Not when she might have trusted him
with her body, but her heart was fearful of what was going on inside his head.
He collared her throat, and she sucked in a breath, her body shaking in anticipation. I want you
in my bed, but tonight isn t about sex. It s about you and me talking and just being ourselves.
She nodded, even though the disappointment of not having him inside her crashed into her. She
wanted to hear his voice, feel his beard on her neck as he hugged her hard. He held her then, picking
her up and cradling her to his chest. They laid in bed fully dressed, their legs entwined as they spoke
of their days, starting with the small things and just listening to one another.
The major decisions would come and the challenges of being with a man who had a son he d
never met before would find their paths. Right then, though, her worries were voiced, and she could
breathe again. It wouldn t be easy, but she had Austin s voice, his touch, and his body.
She just needed his heart.
Chapter Twenty-three
Shea paced Griffin s living room, running her hands through her hair as she did so. They were
leaving Denver in three days to head back home, and yet she didn t feel like she was ready. In fact,
she felt like everything had taken a turn for the worse in her heart, rather than the actual reason they
had come north in the first place.
Shep s uncle was doing okay, but not great and nowhere near out of the woods yet, but alive and
breathing. That counted for something when cancer was involved. She d met Shep s family and
friends and had been welcomed with open arms.
If anything, that made what was going on within her even worse.
She had a clear example now of what a family was supposed to be rather than the farce she d
lived with. Her mother had attacked and emotionally abused her for her entire life while her father
had cheated on his family and had ignored Shea since she was a baby.
Baby.
Damn it. She couldn t think about that. She couldn t think about what was going on within her
while there were more important things. She was being stupid and silly, and yet she couldn t stop it.
Shep was pulling away day by day because she wasn t telling him what was going on inside her head
and body, yet she couldn t find the courage to actually tell him.
Maybe once they got back to New Orleans, everything would be okay and she d be back to
normal. That had to be the answer because, right then, she couldn t think about what was going on.
She couldn t make decisions, and that was so unlike her. She d spent her life doing what was
expected her and following the path that others laid for her before she ventured out on her own. First
with her job, then with leaving her ex the same man her mother had chosen for her. Then Shea
wanted a tattoo and found Shep.
Her happily ever after was supposed to be all roses and rainbows now.
Not pain, heartache, and nervousness.
Shea?
She turned on her heel quickly, almost falling in her haste. Shep put out a hand and held her
steady, that ever-present worry in his gaze.
You startled me. And she couldn t bear to look at him and keep this secret any longer.
I can see that. Tell me what s wrong, Shea. You re killing me here. What did I do wrong? How
can I fix it? I love you so fucking much, and you re pulling away from me. Please. Please tell me
what s wrong.
Oh God, she was doing this all wrong. She was ruining something perfect because she was
scared. Scared that she d ruin it all.
I& I&
He cupped her face, kissing her softly. She leaned into him, letting his taste settle on her tongue.
He anchored her. He was her first love, her only love, and she needed to be honest and open. She
shouldn t be afraid of him; she wasn t.
No, she was afraid of herself.
Tell me, Shea.
We re having a baby, she blurted out, her body shaking. The relief that should have come from
telling him what she d kept secret for far too long never came. Instead, she wanted to throw up, and
she didn t think that came from morning sickness.
Shep opened his mouth two or three times like a fish out of water then grinned. A baby? He
picked her up, twirling her around the room. She clung to his shoulders, wanting to run away rather
than search inside herself.
We re having a baby! Oh god, Shea. I m so fucking happy about this. All this time you were
worried we were having a baby? That s it? His eyes widened. Is something wrong? Do we need to
go to the doctor? Let me get my keys. He set her down like she was fine china then patted his chest
and pockets looking for his keys. Shouldn t you be sitting down? Do you want water? Or how about
crackers? How are you feeling?
The way he acted should have been cute. Instead, she could hear only her mother in her head. Her
mother who had told her that she d never amount to anything. Who had belittled her for her entire life,
making her want to run away or find another more permanent end to the way things had been.
Shep had saved her life right then, and she couldn t think of how to stop the pattern. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]